Haole Hubby Club » Funny thing…

Mr. & Mrs. Aloha Claus

Haole Hubby Club — Mon, 10 Oct 2005 21:27:29 +0000

Aloha and Hello!
When I heard of your Haole Hubby Club and looked at one of our blown glass ornaments, I knew I had to tell you about it! We call it “Mr. & Mrs. Aloha Claus” and it certainly looks like Santa is a Haole Hubby!

I’ll attach an image for you. All of our fun ornaments can be seen – and ordered — at www.ornaments2remember.com. Mele Kalikimaka!

Kay Dix

Mr. & Mrs. Aloha Claus

Instead of insisting that he pronounce things correctly

Haole Hubby Club — Tue, 13 Sep 2005 02:18:00 +0000

Instead of insisting that he pronounce things correctly, let him give his friends that come to visit from the mainland driving directions and let him spell out his phonetic pronunciation. When they get lost and you give them the correct spellings of the streets, they will never let him live it down.

Allyn Tabata

I used to write my hubby sweet little notes written in Japanese:

Haole Hubby Club — Sat, 02 Apr 2005 14:32:10 +0000

I used to write my hubby sweet little notes written in Japanese:

“(hubby) is an idiot”, “(hubby) smells like fish”, just really sweet things like that. When my hubby asked what I wrote, I would lie and say it means, “I Love You” or “You’re so handsome” and think he wouldn’t know because well, he doesn’t read or understand Japanese anyway.

But he was studying Japanese on the side (sly guy) so the next time I wrote him a little “love note” he immediately knew it was about him and what it said. I can’t fool him now.

the other white meat

Haole Hubby Club — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 04:38:39 +0000

I often tease my hubby that HE is the other white meat!

Sweetiedogno1

Learning how to boogie board

Haole Hubby Club — Fri, 18 Mar 2005 19:37:52 +0000

My husband is from Colorado so the first time he came to Hawaii he wanted to boogie board. So my younger brother and I took him to Sherwood’s to learn on baby waves.

A few feet away from us was a tour group with all haoles learning from a BIG local Hawaiian guy how to boogie board. A wave came and took my husband under water for a few seconds and he came up spitting out water when I hear the local tour guide yell, “Eh, you…you supposed to be ova hea NOT far away ova dea!”

My husband didn’t know what to do as he stood in the water clenching his board fearful of his near drowning experience and fear from the look the Hawaiian guy gave him.

I was laughing so hard and finally yelled to the tour guide that he was with me. The Hawaiian tour guide grabbed his belly and started laughing with me at the look on my husband’s face. I told him later, “Really honey, local people are NOT like the movie ‘North Shore’”.

I’m 50% Asian, mixed with a bunch of other local ethnicities

Haole Hubby Club — Thu, 17 Mar 2005 21:42:05 +0000

I’m 50% Asian, mixed with a bunch of other local ethnicities. My siblings and I refer to ourselves as the Heinz 57 bunch.

Anyway, my Pake side of the family is super big. My mother’s family consisted of 12 siblings, so you know where I’m coming from. We never held reunions until one of my uncles on my mother’s side passed away.

It then became apparent to her siblings that life was too short and that they should see one another more often instead of in the funeral parlor. So, the big reunions began.

I remember at our second big Chang Ohana reunion, which took place at Kukui Plaza, seeing all of my aunts, uncles and assorted Asian cousins. I believe I was one of the first cousin of the 3rd generation of Changs to marry a “Haole boy”.

To intensify things, I happen to hook up with one that is over 6 feet, has blonde hair and blue eyes. Everything that smacked the term haole, fit my hubby.

So I show up with my husband and little hapa daughter, when one of my Pake cousin’s husband, approaches my husband to ask him if he’s at the right party.

I introduced myself as Aunty Mary’s daughter, and also introduced my husband to him. It was a Kodak moment. We pretty near peed our pants laughing about the incident.

Of course, my mom had to be in on the fun too. My husband still gets the “Who You?” stares at the reunions, but the ohana has come to accept other numerous “Haole boys” since.

Clabear

My wife is the haole, not me.

Haole Hubby Club — Thu, 17 Mar 2005 06:58:17 +0000

My wife is the haole, not me.

The first time I met my mother-in-law was at home in rural Kentucky. The first thing she said to me was, “you speak good English!”

When we went to apply for our marriage license at the county courthouse the clerk, as required by Kentucky state law, asked us “are you related?” My fiancé promptly answered, “do we look like we’re related?”

We had the wedding in her small hometown (it only had two traffic lights). When my family and friends arrived, word quickly as the “town rumor of the day” that we were the advance party for Toyota and were there to buy the town!

v/r,

Dan

Here’s my story:

Haole Hubby Club — Wed, 16 Mar 2005 23:16:51 +0000

I’m white, born, raised and living on Oahu my entire life– so far. I don’t talk pidgin and don’t look “local” (although what does “local” really mean, someone who doesn’t have light colored skin, or someone with dark brown or black hair?) so naturally people think I’m a tourist or someone who is originally from the mainland.

My husband is Japanese, born and partially raised on the mainland (moved to Hawaii when he was 13). He speaks without the local inflection but is also able to turn the pidgin on Everyone assumes that he is the “local” and I am the “mainland haole”.

When we went to get our marriage license, the clerk made the comment, “are you sure you didn’t get your places of birth mixed up with eachother on your application?”

Here’s another: I was in the waiting room at the doctors office, I was the only one in the room. The nurse came into the room and called out “Mrs. Suzuki,” she looked around the room, scanning the area for a black haired woman, when she realized I was the only person in the room, she quizzically asked “Mrs. Suzuki?” I said “yes that’s me.”

You’d think that people in Hawaii would be used to interracial marriages by now. What I have found out through personal experience is that we aren’t so color blind after all. And I find that the “locals” (anyone who is not white) are more likely to be the ones who make the disparaging remarks!

Jackie

My husband is haole, and I’m hawaiian-chinese.

Haole Hubby Club — Wed, 16 Mar 2005 12:34:16 +0000

My husband is haole, and I’m hawaiian-chinese. My son is japanese/hawaiian chinese from my first marriage. We try to teach my husband some of the pidgin language and hawaiian language.

We thought he had it wired down, on what maka-pia pia is. Which is the mucus from your eye. So my son says, Dad you get maka pia pia. I heard my son giggle after the second repeat. So I said what’s up, and each time my son said dad you get maka pia pia my husband kept on wiping his nose thinking he had booga’s. (lol).

So we nickname him our hawaiian wanna be. Keep on trying. He takes it in stride when we laugh at him all the time. = puaena

My funny stories

Haole Hubby Club — Tue, 15 Mar 2005 23:15:49 +0000

One night my entire (Japanese/Chinese) family went out to eat at L & L’s.

After all 7 of us lined up to place our order (since as we all know…daddy always pays no matter how old the kids get), my (haole) husband was the last one up. However, before he could even say a word, the young cashier turned to my father with a confused look on her face and asked, “Is he with you?!”

And here’s a few more, if you don’t use any, I won’t be hurt! Edit away as needed!

-For me, the first moment I knew I was with someone who was very culturally different was when my husband (though only my boyfriend at the time) came from LA to visit me for the first time in Hawaii. We were standing in line at Safeway and the clerk kept making mistakes. She was slow, rang up the wrong price, kept talking to her friend….the straw that broke the camel’s back was when she declared that she needed to change the register tape but didn’t know how. That did it. My husband rolled his eyes and deeply exhaled. I froze. I spent the next 60 seconds trying to undo the damage by shooting winning patient smiles at the clerk.

-Everytime we take a family photo there’s about 15 short Asians and one white person- my husband. We’ve made a joke out of humming that song from Sesame Street “Which of things is not like the others?” while we’re smiling for the camera. It always cracks everyone up.

-You know you’ve won your haole husband over when he starts muttering and grumbling about all the other “haoles” to you!

Sincerely,

Jolene