Hubby’s the haole, I’m the Chinese/Hawaiian wife. He’s lived in O’ahu for almost twenty years, while I’ve lived for only 5. He uses chopsticks, I can’t. He can make spam musubi – I can’t. I can speak Spanish, and he can speak [...]]]> Our story can be like some, but not like many.

Hubby’s the haole, I’m the Chinese/Hawaiian wife. He’s lived in O’ahu for almost twenty years, while I’ve lived for only 5. He uses chopsticks, I can’t. He can make spam musubi – I can’t. I can speak Spanish, and he can speak Japanese. See folks, sometimes you can become more asian/local by marrying haole!! J

Leilani

I am writing to you from my home in northern Japan, where it is cold and everything is white with snow.

As we know, in a traditional anglo-saxon family, Christmas is the biggest day of the year and it is a time for being generous to each other. Hopefully that generosity lives on throughout [...]]]> Dear Haole Club,

I am writing to you from my home in northern Japan, where it is cold and everything is white with snow.

As we know, in a traditional anglo-saxon family, Christmas is the biggest day of the year and it is a time for being generous to each other. Hopefully that generosity lives on throughout the year. In Japan, it is a little different, however there is a custom to give decorated envelopes containing generous sums of money on New Year’s day.

So, when my parents sent us loads of presents for our 2 year old daughter, their granddaughter, I was most impressed and pleased. However, as for my wife’s parents, who are better off financially than my own parents, our daughter received absolutely nothing. I can understand that Christmas may not be their custom or tradition, but giving money for New Year’s is, so I most surprised that my parents-in-law could not be generous!

Two days after New Year’s we were at a friend’s house for lunch yesterday, and one of the wife’s friends came to visit, they had not seen each other for 10 years. However, the wife’s friend gave the daughter 2000yen in a decorated envelope. So, this made me think again about my parents-in-law and their view of grandparenthood.

It may be that they, my in-laws have heard my grandfather’s story about the guy in the army during WW2, who claimed to be Jewish on Sundays, Catholic on Saturdays, and whatever else during the week in order to avoid church parade. However, in their case it is to avoid giving any presents.

Has anyone else had similar experiences?

Cheers and happy New Year.

Tony Kennedy

Unfortunately, as hard as I tried to teach our Hapa kids the “right” way to eat rice, they too [...]]]> My Haole husband is actually part Hawaiian and grew up in Hawaii just like I did. BUT while he loves rice and expects it every meal except when we eat spaghetti, he butters his rice! Yuck!

Unfortunately, as hard as I tried to teach our Hapa kids the “right” way to eat rice, they too love it with butter.

On the other hand, I managed to get my daughter to love Natto (stinky fermented soybeans that even many Japanese can’t stand) and my husband has said we can eat natto on days he is not home.

To his credit, he did try to eat it and just could not swallow it, literally.

ka

We came up on two eldly woman , as we aproached they both [...]]]> White husband and chinese Wife, My wife and I went out to go do some shopping. We never thought about what we looked like when we went out with each, we just to do what we needed to do for that day.

We came up on two eldly woman , as we aproached they both looked at each other and utter disgust and frowned.At first it seemed that they were upset at seeing a interracial couple, we got closer one said, “Do you think you could of got her out of the cradle any sooner?”.

I turned and looked at them stunned by their comments and before I could say anything my wife said, “What’s the big deal I’m only 3 years older than you!”.

Of course when she said it she said it loud enough for both of them to hear. They both looked at her in dismay and we walked away in laughter.

Clay Nettles

I won’t lie. It has been difficult being married to one another because we come from different cultures, but we’re making it work for us and [...]]]> I’m a native of Britain who has lived in numerous countries, (Australia, New Zealand, South Africa and the U.S.) and I’m also married to a Filipino man.

I won’t lie. It has been difficult being married to one another because we come from different cultures, but we’re making it work for us and the sake of our 2 year old son.

I’m so happy that there’s a website available like yours and I’ve enjoyed surfing on it.

A million thanx

-Lise.

Katherine Chhor Cocchiaro

Mom said “Japanese girls are pretty when they are young, but when they age, they really fall apart. Are you sure?” We’re going on 15 years [...]]]> After being single and “playing the field” for several years, I informed my mother I was marrying a Japanese girl, who is/was an exchange student at the local University.

Mom said “Japanese girls are pretty when they are young, but when they age, they really fall apart. Are you sure?” We’re going on 15 years of marriage and she still looks great and holding.

We took Mom to Kuyshu and then to Kyoto for two weeks last year. The worst trip we’ve ever had. She refused to “slurp” the Odon, she asked for silverware and napkins at every resturant we went to.

When we went to visit the shrines and temples in Kyoto, she would sing, out loud “The battle hymm of the Republic”…… when we were in the international airport, comming home, she complained to strangers so much about the food, some Asian woman, married to a Haole, bought her a chicken sandwich and gave it to her (Her look said “shut up”).

Lesson learned… This year, when we went to visit my in-laws, it was just my wife and I.

Vern McCready

My family was one of half dozen other Japanese families in the area so those families were the [...]]]> I read about this fabulous “club” in the holiday issue of the “Pacific Citizen”. I’m JA, born and raised smack in the middle of southern Idaho. (Yes, the potato state as opposed to Iowa).

My family was one of half dozen other Japanese families in the area so those families were the people we spent holidays with and tried to do Japanese New Year. It was almost impossible to get Asian food here in the ’50′s so my Auntie in California used to send stuff or we would bring it back from vacation. Fresh tofu – forget it back in the day!

At any rate, I always longed to go to Hawaii! So when I was in my early 20′s I moved with my haole best friend to Honolulu and we got jobs and an apartment and lived there for about two years. We had the time of our lives! The first thing I noticed was even though I’m Japanese, I’m not very Japanesey! When I would meet locals, they immediately knew I wasn’t local and would ask where I was from. But I learned lots of new words and made friends of all ethnic backgrounds, ate the best Asian food, saw the most beautiful place on earth, got familiar with a whole new world other than my little. sometimes “redneck”, farm community.

Family is what brought me back to Idaho AND a very tall, white, blond with blue eyes who was in the potato business whom I had met four months before leaving for Hawaii. We stayed in touch and when I got back to Twin Falls, he was still single. We’ve been together for 32 years, married for 27 and have two boys – Japanese/Irish/English/German. Many of the stories on this website pertain to us – they are so funny. He often refers to himself as “haole”, loves Japanese food – especially sashimi. Bob won my Dad over by eating more sashimi than Dad. He claims to be more Japanese than my brother because my brother doesn’t like sashimi.

I’m usually the only Asian. or other minority for that matter at parties, etc. but I enjoy being somewhat mysterious (even tho I’m not) among my friends. We have a wonderful life here – and Twin Falls actually has TWO Japanese restaurants now, and TWO Thai food restaurants and lots of really bad Chinese food restaurants – so we stick to Thai, Japanese, Mexican, and good old steak and potatoes.

I could write so much about my experiences being Asian and living with haoles my whole life, but I will suffice to say how much I enjoyed this website, how much it made me miss Hawaii, how it made me laugh and how much I can really relate to what has been written. I have added it to my favorites and will keep reading. I bet you get tons of hits after the PC is read!

PS – my haole friend who went to Hawaii with me came back to Idaho and ended up married to one of the other few Japanese guys I grew up with. When we go out together everyone assumes he’s with me and my husband is with her. Crazy!

Janet Matsuoka Keegan

Consdiering how tall these haoles are, was funny seeing them trying to get comfy. Not only [...]]]> My funny thing was forcing hubby to sit on the floor and eat pupu style!! Today, we make our other haole friends do the same (mostly east coasters since he’s from Jersey and they are mostly from Boston).

Consdiering how tall these haoles are, was funny seeing them trying to get comfy. Not only that, I’d take food off their plates by habit and share mine w/ them (unless they are germaphobes). I consider friends family, so no worries here. Plus I eat everything w/ chopsticks and they are NOT accessible in every grocery store like Hawaii (which Joe has NOT perfected).

I’m an Ewa Beach native and Iolani graduate. Joe laughs at my pidgin when I meet other locals….he has his share of east coast accent, too.

Clash of the cultures is a great thing. If opposites attract, we work great. I’m actually the tita and he’s the cruiser. Our daughter, Tasia, has the best of both worlds. Hustle and bustle of the east coast as well as the laid back style of Hawaii ( which I am dtermined to return to).

My aunt sent me this article since she’s also married to a haole and I loved it. And aloha to all of you!

Gina

Allyn Tabata