Possible use in “Hubby rants”?
Chris’ list of possible cross-cultural flash-points to watch out for (and ‘neva-fail’ resolutions):
1) Problem: Innocently plant single small bamboo plant in your 50 x 25 foot back yard, without making sure roots are fully contained!
Resolution: Spend rest of life arduously battling the spread of the new bamboo forest that at latest count fills 6 acres of space.
2) Problem: Install Zen (Ch’an) sand garden in back yard too close to neighbor’s overhanging maple trees.
Resolution: Hire professional Japanese horticulturalist to keep it swept clear of the tons of leafy effluent it is buried under, each Fall.
3) Problem: Try valiantly to comply with dictum that mandates all baths take place just before bedtime, not in the early AM.
Resolution: Learn to live with nocturnal cold showers (deal bravely with fact there’s only enough hot water in the heater to provide her with a hot bath).
4) Problem: Grasp importance of sharing regular traditional wintertime ordeal of the ‘Hot Pot’ family dinner.
Resolution: Accept fact that you are doomed to starve, as the relatives all outmaneuver you for the simmering goodies you placed in the pot to cook.
5) Problem: Face fact that life in Hawaii includes the occasional patter of tiny Gecko feet across one’s face in deepest nighttime.
Resolution: Become tropical herpetologist and LOVE it (also perhaps start professional cockroach racing stable…).
6) Problem: Accept fact that no matter how often you bathe, you’ll always just ‘one stinky haole’.
Resolution: Buy large chunk of common stock in ‘Irish Spring’ soap (and use liberal amounts as daily skin-lotion).
7) Problem: Resist urge to use wife’s old retired classic Duke Kahanamoku pop-out longboard as handy work table in garage.
Resolution: Let her perch her dirty clothes hamper on your classic Porsche 356D’s fender occasionally (NOT!…shudder!).
Problem: Embrace fact that there are more cross-cultural flashpoints lurking everywhere, as married life continues.
Resolution: Lighten up, brah, an make wid one kine goofy grin….bumbye evryting mo bettah!
Christopher T. Carey
